i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize