i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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