Well apparently he's into motor boating.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
