Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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