Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Randomize