i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I feel great
I just peed on a car
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
