We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
