I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
you made out with another girl for some wings
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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