i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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