So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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