You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize