You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
