i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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