I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My dad just said "fuck circus"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
