I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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