and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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