will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
