nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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