We're facebook friends in real life
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i think my tv is drunk
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
