I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
