Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
