o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just want to make out with him forever
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize