I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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