i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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