I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
My pussy is not your playground.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm experimenting with sincerity
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
