Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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