it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
