Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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