I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
