just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
we're making bets on your personal life
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize