Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
So vagazzling was a success
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