After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
