i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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