I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
