I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
