is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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