At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
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