So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
