dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
