If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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