I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
