5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
