All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i think i just lost a toe
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
