i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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