got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize