I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
