I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
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