just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You dont lie about slip and slides
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
