she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize