Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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