i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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