please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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