yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
