At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
