I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
pray to the hookup gods
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
