mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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