Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
