The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
