I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
