Me too!
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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