my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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