Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
