I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I can tuck mytits in my pants
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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