omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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