your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
