you guys were way drunker than both of me
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
