No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
