Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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