so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
