Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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