Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you traded sex for a burrito?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Still dying that you shit outside
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
