Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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