Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
nutella sex= disaster
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize