Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
