did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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