bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize