I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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