Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
When are your genitals available?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
