No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
