New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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